Author Archives: Becky

my fave two things to do.

my fave two things to do.

the two things in life that comforts me most are traveling or cooking/baking.

whenever im frustrated, these two things never fail to make things better.

ive not written here for quite a bit. that’s because for the past five weeks, i have either been busy with a pitch, work, or traveling.

in just two weeks plus, i have traveled about 43377km just by flights and not inclusive of land travel (which would add another few thousands of km). was it quite an experience? hell yea was it an amazing experience and an incredible adventure. wouldn’t want to trade these amazing opportunities for anything else.

photos will be up later. since i can’t share photos from the shoot, but i guess i can share some photos of my surroundings or places i’ve visited.

anyway, heaps of work to do. but all i wanna do right now, to be honest, is to stay in bed and plan my next holiday or cook up a storm. i miss my kitchen. can’t wait till the weekends arrive! 🙂

i’m cool, like that, yo’!

i’m cool, like that, yo’!

we had our first… “disagreement”. well, i wasn’t disagreeing. i just thought he went beserk because of his own guilty conscience and that annoyed me.

we’re not exclusive. the distance isn’t going to work, eventually, unless one of us moves.

so, you know what, do as you please.

i’m cool, like that, yo’!

🙂

找自己.

找自己.

the weather has been terribly dreary off late.

the missing sunshine somehow affects how i feel about certain things, it seems.

but im in no mood to write anything about how i feel. maybe a song would help?

we all do stupid mistakes all the time, but we must not regret them because it is a hard way to learn to make things right. if it wasn’t hard, we will never understand why we must not let it repeat itself.

hence, why i have decided what i have decided.

to be unattached, until i could figure myself out, or what i want. i need to stop being selfish, and just like what the song above wrote, “urging ourselves to love when we shouldn’t, and it is because of our fear of being lonely that we manage to convince ourselves to love wrongly”. or something along those lines.

i need to search for myself, or as i like to say it in a language i struggle to learn, “找自己” (zhao zi ji).

till then, i shall remain my status quo as it is.

uncertainty is certain*

uncertainty is certain*

“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.”

true. except so many things are so uncertain now. so many words to say, so many heartaches to mend but im tough. i’ll hang on, and i’ll hang on tight.

(/edited @ 2:38am; 13th March 2013)

*pauses*

you deleted every single post about me. what the hell was that suppose to mean?

are you deleting my very existance?

YES, i was the reason we didn’t work out and i may have been selfish previously. i just wanted to correct what was wrong.

*inhales deeply*

let’s be matured about this. it isn’t easy for me as well. thank you. that’s all i’ll ever say.

(/edited)

meanwhile, a song that currently seems to be the soundtrack of my current situation.

i need a shrink.

i need a shrink.

i honestly think i might need a shrink.

i feel the need to constantly get myself into trouble, even if i know beforehand that whatever i’m doing, WILL, get me in trouble. definitely didn’t need a psychic to tell me that.

the warning signal goes off, the sirens are blaring and yet, i choose to fiddle around with fire.

nobody in their right minds likes to get hurt, but maybe, i am addicted to it; the pain and agony of losing something precious.

oh, i so need help. :/

tranquilo, poco a poco.

tranquilo, poco a poco.

today, just as i reached the office, i noticed one of the guys smiling incessantly in his car while fidgeting with his phone.

i walked up to my room, and saw another colleague in a pantry with a huge grin in her face, staring at her sandwich.

opened the door to my room, and the other colleague was also continuously smirking while reading her text messages (or whatsapp, or whatever, you get my drift).

did the people surrounding me wake up to some magic happy pill or did someone spray some happy potion into the air? it is a pretty unusual sight, seeing people so pleased and full of smiles so early in the day.

got to my desk, did my usual stuff and replied messages.

the next thing i know, i was so engrossed with my phone text messages (and whatsapp, line, you get my drift) that i realise i too, was grinning myself silly, from ear to ear.

i guess it’s just one of those days where people decide to smile a lot, and be pleased and merry. let’s hope this lasts till the end of the day.

here’s a video to awe you.

till then, enjoy the rest of your weekend.

sidenote: tranquilo, poco a poco. keep that in mind. 😉

adieu, love.

adieu, love.

things happen for a reason. i constantly tell myself that sometimes, we have to let go of what we think is good for us now for a better reason that only the future can reveal.

people who know me, knows, that despite putting on a brave and strong front, i am actually trapped inside this emotional see-saw, which is sadly true, but i hate to admit.

i dont think i have learnt to smile sincerely in a long time. ive traveled alone thousands of miles to find myself, to look for a reason to smile a smile because i want to smile, not because i feel like i need to smile.

im glad we tried. and i wont regret the decisions ive made. i always believe it is better to try, than to live the rest of our lives hovering about in a “what if” ponder.

im glad we met. and thank you for the good times and memories. i may not have expressed my gratitude well previously, but take this as a sincere thank you. i hope it’s not too late.

till then, i wish you & i the best.

i hope to someday find that happiness that ive been seeking for way too long. and i hope that you find that someone who would love you as much as you deserve to be loved.

adieu.

finally, the end of 2012 is here!

finally, the end of 2012 is here!

ah, time to take a break and ponder over what 2012 has been about.

i must say, i am glad the end of this year is coming. it has been a terrible year. not the end of the human race, for sure, but definitely bad in a lot of ways.

today, or rather, yesterday, was our official move to our new office, which is just located just a street away.

so much drama but i’ll fill you in later. i’m finally done posting job vacancies on jobstreet for three different positions and i need to rush to pack my bags before heading to sungai siput by train for my airen, bee yee’s, wedding later.

BORING POST, i know. i was gonna write something witty but then multitasking got the better of me. okay, need to rush. update later? ta!

p/s: HAPPY NEW YEAR if i don’t get to wish all you beautiful apocalypse survivors before that. 🙂