April 14, 2007
what's left of it.
i've always felt a sharp pain on my right breast. and if you remember well from last year's series of surgeries that i've gone through, i've also had difficulties breathing and major chest pains. there HAS always been something wrong with me. i dont think i can EVER be fixed. last year has probably cost my dad's company more then tens of thousands from the five - six months ordeal and this time, i'm afraid, history will have to repeat itself.
back to my right breast, the pain was pretty consistent but i was constantly ignoring it. "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY BREAST!" i'll keep repeating it like a mantra. as you all know, i love my breasts and it's probably the only thing valuable in this whole tub of lard body of mine so i treasure them. like, really, truly, treasure them. anyway, i felt lumps in both my breasts yesterday. i told my mom about it and she too, felt the lumps.
panic strikes! and somehow, the pain just seems more obvious lately. i know i should go for a check up, but i'm just, sick of going in and out of the hospital. maybe, maybe it's nothing. but what if it's something? that'll lead to another and another. like last year?! you know, it's like as though god's enjoying this little game of me, going in and out of the hospital. almost like sex. in, out. in, out. well, thank you, god. bring it on! it's probably karma from my previous life. i wouldn't know but anyhow, let's just hope these lumps aren't serious. no wait, let's just hope, i'm actually going to drag myself to the hospital again. i'm sick of x-rays, operating theatres, needles and endless medications. but if these is somehow going to pay back for all my wrong doings of the past, i'll go through it. 
hmm.. looks like i still have a lot of strength in me. lol.
i know im rambling, but really, my mind's divided into thousands of thoughts and directions. what if questions are popping non stop. but like the old saying goes, que sera sera. whatever will be, will be. if things goes on to the negative side, i'll have to pass my tetek queen title to someone else. you can only enjoy life, to a certain limit. let's toss to what's left of it. toodles! 
p/s: i scratched dennis' bumper today, quite badly i would say. it's time for me to get a new car since my bro just got his a couple of days ago. no fair! i want one too! *pouts* oh, and i just joined some facebook thingy and it had automatically sent out invitations to everyone i've ever emailed to. if you like multiply, you might like this. it's a cross between friendster & multiply. do add me if you're in. tatayoung!
ps/s: my mom told me to accompany her to bangkok for some major shopping session end of this month, but i guess, i've gotta skip it if i'm going to genting for work and it isnt even confirmed yet. blehs, this sucks! happy shopping in bangkok once again! 
Posted by becky at April 14, 2007 03:25 PM
oiks better go check la wei. check early!!!
Posted by: Maxine at April 14, 2007 03:29 PMI DAH OFFERED !
Posted by: Maxine at April 14, 2007 03:57 PMlol, jom, rombongan untuk check tetek! :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 14, 2007 04:01 PMyaya..go 4 a check up soon~~ sooner or later also hv 2 check,go earlier la...pegi cepat!!
Posted by: kyliemc at April 14, 2007 10:53 PMlol, knowing me, i'll procrastinate. i will la, but ... when, i dunno. :/
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 14, 2007 11:00 PMerm....hahah..maxine,plez bug becky 2 go 4 checkup during ur every waking hr :D
Posted by: kyliemc at April 14, 2007 11:05 PMhahaha yes kylie, i have asked her dee! that fella ..aiyo
Posted by: Maxine at April 15, 2007 02:55 AMlol..ask her banyak banyak kali til she surrenders :D
Posted by: kyliemc at April 15, 2007 03:02 AMkylie, lol. i will go, dont worry. thanks for being concern. :) wanna check together? :P
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 15, 2007 03:03 AMoi, max, what fella fella all. lol.
"they dont want, they dont want. i ask already!"
see, nobody wants to go check together-gether with me (except max la).
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 15, 2007 03:04 AMkylie, we go check la. you also go ok? mammogram together-gether. :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 15, 2007 03:09 AMI'd go with ya if I were in the country. You're probably sick of people making a big deal out of this (they are YOUR tits, after all), but perhaps what ever it is that you felt, it could turn out to be nothing. So the sooner you go and have it looked at, the quicker this "nothing" can get off your mind, if that makes sense.
C'mon darling, you said it yourself, you LOVE your bewbies. Do them a favour and go get them fondled by some cunt who spent 6 years getting a degree when everyone else only needed 3... :P
Posted by: Michael at April 15, 2007 05:09 PMaww... michael, that's a bloody good advice. lol. pretty convincing. i'll go get it check, no worries. thanks. :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 15, 2007 06:33 PMhey, hope everything is alright for you.
it is so good to see that you keep your sense of humor and appetite for good food.
and poor dennis....haha, this time i know it is a car
have a good week.
Posted by: khoo at April 15, 2007 10:37 PMdei, go for checkup ... the earlier you go the better and hope you are doing alright now, and i wanna go to Bangkok tooooooo
Posted by: michy at April 16, 2007 09:23 AMlol, congrats khoo on finally finding out who dennis is. lol.
and thanks for your well wishes. :D
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 16, 2007 09:26 AMsp, hehe the prob now is, i dunno where to go. :/ like which specialist etc. and i know, im just finding more reasons to procrastinate. :(
bangkok!!! i'm not going. :( sedih.
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 16, 2007 09:28 AMall of a sudden, i have this soft pain rite up my arse..lol
Posted by: Cavin at April 16, 2007 05:22 PMrest assured, it's not breast cancer :P
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 16, 2007 05:23 PMit isnt??????
Posted by: Maxine at April 16, 2007 05:55 PMWOOOHOO! THATS BLOODY GOOD NEWS!
Posted by: Maxine at April 16, 2007 05:55 PMi meant cavin's pain in the ass la. :D not breast cancer la duh! :P
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 16, 2007 05:57 PMand max, i havent check yet, how to know wei. :/
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 16, 2007 05:57 PMI have the same prob as you.
Out of nowhere, you'll feel as if a sharp knife has poke into the corner of your breast..and you can't move for a moment yeah??
can't breath too...??
oh no......! i thought i was the only one who has this weird thingy..
breathing now, no probs ler. but the pain is sharp and it feels like there's a lump there. :/
let's go do check up?
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 17, 2007 10:22 AMCHECK UP!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Maxine at April 17, 2007 11:22 AMi will la, soon. i dont even have time to do anything personal lately! :(
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 17, 2007 11:24 AMdont delay! C-H-E-C-K U-P!
Posted by: michy at April 17, 2007 12:57 PMguten tag from frankfurt! just a short note to wish you luck for yr upcoming mammogram...
I know what the stabbing pain in the chest felt like... scary almost to the brink of giving up.. anyhow keep some aspirin with you in yr purse wherever you go. you never know.
cheers becky..
Posted by: leo-chan at April 17, 2007 01:26 PMok ok , sp, i will. :) maybe this weekend. i'll try. don't worry. :-*
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 17, 2007 01:31 PMlol, i cant take aspirin thanks to my severe case of gastric. you t.care and enjoy your trip in frankfurt. bring back some cute germans for me, ok? :D
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 17, 2007 01:31 PMthanks for the birthday wish, becky. ;D guess i'm not such a small girl anymore... getting olddd. LoL
and yes, do get a check up asap. i'm no expert, but i think you prolly won't even need a mamogram... chances are the lumps aren't cancerous since it's common for women to get non-malignant lumps. anywayyys, go check up! i'll come along too if u want, for moral support. go becky go!
Posted by: Isobel at April 17, 2007 04:36 PMyou're welcome, ms. 23!!! :P
i hope it's benign, really. let's keep our fingers crossed!! :) thank you! :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 17, 2007 06:53 PMmuahah..tak mau la..me afraid of getting check ups too :P
Posted by: kyliemc at April 18, 2007 02:02 PMah chiew. hahahaha. but true, i dont like doctors.
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 18, 2007 02:05 PMhaha..ya le...i visited d doc twice 4 minor surgeries on my toes,getting my jabs..went 2 d dentist 2 extract my wisdom tooth..all painful expereinces..takut la~
Posted by: kyliemc at April 19, 2007 03:32 AMno trying, you MUST go, Sie mussen!
Posted by: michy at April 19, 2007 08:18 AMhahaha... shit kylie, we went through the same thing, except my surgeries weren't for toes. :D youngsters like us these days, banyak pasal la. :/
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 19, 2007 09:27 AMok ok sp, i will. don't worry. :)
but the pain has somewhat lessen. :/ but i will still go, to get a confirmation. don't worry. danke schoen! :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 19, 2007 09:27 AMyaya..banyak pasal..haiz..gastric pain suddenly...n my med ran out...i had 2 tahan like mad in class... :s
Posted by: kyliemc at April 22, 2007 09:09 PMsighs, i lagi banyak pasal now. not health but everything. can pengsan. :(
you please take care ok, kylie! :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 22, 2007 11:50 PMu take care too,becky!!rest more,k?though ur work is hectic la
Posted by: kyliemc at April 23, 2007 01:17 AMit is. and i dunno why i'm so weak lately. kerja a bit lebih, sudah lemah. :S
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 23, 2007 01:29 AMBecky, are you the girl in the big picture at Autocity Penang modelling for some kinda car company?
james
Posted by: james at April 23, 2007 09:56 AM*chokes*
errr...... .. .. i've never seen the picture but nope, i doubt it. i would have taken 'too much' space in the picture. LOL!
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 23, 2007 09:58 AMlolz .. u are funny. Anyway thanks. Juz want a confirmation coz bet wif a friend that it is you. hee!
Posted by: james at April 23, 2007 10:47 AMlol, i'm sorry you lost your bet though. btw, can i take a look at the picture? :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 23, 2007 12:49 PMnar ... dun wori abt it. Somehow iam hundred percent sure it is you ... anyway, will take a pic if iam back there again! have a nice day. cheers!
Posted by: james at April 23, 2007 03:56 PMlol, im 100% sure it's not me. thanks for informing btw. have a nice day too. :)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 23, 2007 04:24 PMperhaps it's d weather.n lack of sleep...tht's y fall sick so easily
Posted by: kyliemc at April 24, 2007 12:39 PMhaha no, cause i work for ten days straight liao!! :(
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 24, 2007 02:52 PMoh hie :P
Posted by: michy at April 25, 2007 07:57 AMwhoa..tht's really tiring...no wonder u fall sick...
Posted by: kyliemc at April 25, 2007 03:09 PMoh hieee sp!! :P
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 25, 2007 10:17 PMkylie, hehehe. takpe la. gotta get used to it. :P
*pokes you*
:)
Posted by: tIcKLe`Me at April 25, 2007 10:17 PM