Monthly Archives: October 2013

almost thirty*

almost thirty*

my last post was my 500th post in tickle.me.net. ah, what a journey it has been.

tickle-me.net (or t-m.net, as i’ve fondly called it) has been around since 2003, and is turning 10 years old this coming november. i’ve been blogging since, 2001 (at various sites before i bought my own domain name) and i know i’ve been somewhat neglecting this site. i blame it on facebook! i guess because of the instant replies and responses you get from your friends, it feels like whatever you say gets appreciated better but don’t get me wrong. t-m.net, has been with me for ten crazy roller coaster years. most of the stuffs written here are personally related to me, or entries to remind myself of the little things that happened, weird encounters, love hate relationships, broken friendships, heartaches, life’s drama or even just random blahs that i feel like spilling out. damn, this blog has been with me throughout my transition from a rebellious teenager to well, the lady that i am today.

to be honest, this blog is nothing but a digital boring “diary” of an ordinary confused chick, or a notepad where people jot short notes to act as reminders. and most of the stuff i write are VERY personal, so when it comes to people who don’t know me or those who chance upon this blog via google search, they obviously wouldn’t be staying here to read for more than a paragraph or two.

okay, so after twelve years of writing in cyberspace, who am i? by reading all 500 entries in this page, will this blog define the person that i am, or conclude what are my likes or dislikes? maybe, but not fully because until today, even after me being me for 29 years, i don’t even know the answer to that question. sometimes, it saddens me, because i’m almost turning thirty and i’m still discovering myself? pffft (although i’m pretty sure i’m not alone).

i used to love my job, but now i feel like i’m drowning in it because i no longer feel a single drop of passion for it. i don’t think it’s a secret anymore because you can obviously tell from my body language that i have no interest in the work i’m doing. feels worst than a chore, really. either that, or i just have an environment that i really dont fancy, at all. actually, yes, i’ve decided, it’s the freaking environment and the people that i have to deal on a daily basis that DRIED my passion up. PFFT. you bastards!

so, what do i love? traveling? yes, definitely. food, absolutely! but if only passion pays. i guess i should try looking for a job that allows me to do the things i love, even if it means sacrificing my current lifestyle because i would most likely have to start from scratch and there might not be sufficient income. well, we shall see. nothing is impossible, eh?

oh, and have i mentioned about getting braces yet? i guess not. well, i got mine fixed earlier this week, on the 21st (see, jotting dates for future references here, lol). most people ask me why do i get it only when i’m almost thirty. well, why not? im not afraid to look extra ugly (and hell yeah these braces are not very aesthetically appealing) because i’ve never really been the kind of girl that resembles a beauty queen anyway.

also, at almost thirty, i finally found someone that makes my heart skip a beat every time i hear his name being mentioned. the person who is the reason behind my smiles, the one who can turn my frowns upside down but also the reason why there’s a frown on my face in the first place. being so far away from each other means having to go through plenty of rough patches along this journey, but we’re working this out. growing up and living in completely different environment, and at opposite ends of the clock means we have plenty of differences but i have faith that it is because of these differences that attracted us to one another in the first place. we’ll pull through and it’ll be worth it, b. kiss!

well, see, im doing it again. writing bits and pieces of “important” things in my life so i can use them as references in the future. what a boring person, i am, indeed. *yawns* till next time, tata! <3

14,000km away.

14,000km away.

it’s been hell of a roller coaster for the past couple of months. work has been draining me, almost sucking every ounce of me to the point that i think i have no more passion left over.

and then i met someone. someone whom i have known virtually for the past six years, but never really spoken to. he has always been there, on my facebook, but just didn’t cross my mind that many years down the road, he would be someone so special to me.

14,000 kilometres away. that’s how far apart we are. and i think it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting for us to want to be in each other’s arms so badly but be separated by such a massive distance.

i was gonna type more but then i realise, things are not going to change until one of us decides to move. so i’ll leave it at that but he drives me crazy. so madly in lust with you, bb. <3