the missing sunshine somehow affects how i feel about certain things, it seems.
but im in no mood to write anything about how i feel. maybe a song would help?
we all do stupid mistakes all the time, but we must not regret them because it is a hard way to learn to make things right. if it wasn’t hard, we will never understand why we must not let it repeat itself.
hence, why i have decided what i have decided.
to be unattached, until i could figure myself out, or what i want. i need to stop being selfish, and just like what the song above wrote, “urging ourselves to love when we shouldn’t, and it is because of our fear of being lonely that we manage to convince ourselves to love wrongly”. or something along those lines.
i need to search for myself, or as i like to say it in a language i struggle to learn, “找自己” (zhao zi ji).