how will you take it, really?

how will you take it, really?

why doesn’t anything feel right? i dunno where im heading. what im clinging onto. and what’s holding me back. the people around me. it feels like they don’t fit. like it’s a whole two diff pieces in a large jigsaw puzzle that don’t match.
i think turning 25 has put an impact on me. i’ve becomed a much more confused person. i dunno what i want, nor know what am i doing anymore. i feel drained out, when as a matter of fact, ive done nothing much. i have so many things i thought i needed, or want, but they all infact turned out to be just lust, or desires. i’m like a top that’s spinning aimlessly, hoping to hit a wall to make me stop and then make that my path to continue.
i keep thinking of things i shouldn’t. what ifs. if onlys. and i know i shouldn’t. i am suppose to be proud of the things ive done. achieved so far. but it never feels enough. i am no longer the glorious person i once was. turning adult has taken so many things away from me. and has changed me to someone i don’t recognise or know any longer.

“I feel that I`m at a crossroads
I don`t know which way to go
You say that I am changing
Into someone that you don`t know
Who I am and who I`ll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
And if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
For years you have been my bestfriend
I thought that would always be
You know that I just can`t pretend
It`s written all over me
`Cuz where I`ll go
And what I`ll do, I just can`t see
My life without you
If I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
Moving on is gonna take some time
When I`m gone, you might have
A change of mind
Gotta take the chance,
No matter what I find.
No matter how far I travel
I think of you as home
Its not about finding someone else,
Its all about being alone
Because who I am and who I`ll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
`Cuz if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend,
If we break apart?
How will I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
How will you take
My change of heart?”

how will you take it, really?

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