Monthly Archives: October 2009

hochiminh, here i come!

hochiminh, here i come!

dear t-m.net,

omgomgomgomgomg! i’m heading to VIETNAM….!!!!

…for work! pressure’s on my shoulders. i hope i’ll exceed my bosses expectations of me. i’m having butterflies in my tummies. *flutters flutters* i haven’t been handling any real big jobs since i started apart from the maxis broadband campaign you guys see now in the papers and billboards (the one with the knight, shopaholic, social butterflies, etcetcetc…. thingamajig). and the ones i WAS gonna do is currently on hold so i don’t really have much to show yet to my current employers. maybe this trip could help me shine a little, i dunno. in a foreign land that mainly speaks a language i don’t, it’s going to be tough. wish me luck.
and oh, happy diwali, people!
p/s: my all female gerbil tank gave birth to more babies two days ago still. it’s seriously a mystery. but they always turn out to be weak. and unfortunately, none of them survived today. *sighs* i wonder how do they still give birth when they are all of the same gender, hence my dad’s nickname for the babies, pondan babies. tsk.
xoxo,
becky ooi.

how will you take it, really?

how will you take it, really?

why doesn’t anything feel right? i dunno where im heading. what im clinging onto. and what’s holding me back. the people around me. it feels like they don’t fit. like it’s a whole two diff pieces in a large jigsaw puzzle that don’t match.
i think turning 25 has put an impact on me. i’ve becomed a much more confused person. i dunno what i want, nor know what am i doing anymore. i feel drained out, when as a matter of fact, ive done nothing much. i have so many things i thought i needed, or want, but they all infact turned out to be just lust, or desires. i’m like a top that’s spinning aimlessly, hoping to hit a wall to make me stop and then make that my path to continue.
i keep thinking of things i shouldn’t. what ifs. if onlys. and i know i shouldn’t. i am suppose to be proud of the things ive done. achieved so far. but it never feels enough. i am no longer the glorious person i once was. turning adult has taken so many things away from me. and has changed me to someone i don’t recognise or know any longer.

“I feel that I`m at a crossroads
I don`t know which way to go
You say that I am changing
Into someone that you don`t know
Who I am and who I`ll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
And if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
For years you have been my bestfriend
I thought that would always be
You know that I just can`t pretend
It`s written all over me
`Cuz where I`ll go
And what I`ll do, I just can`t see
My life without you
If I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
Moving on is gonna take some time
When I`m gone, you might have
A change of mind
Gotta take the chance,
No matter what I find.
No matter how far I travel
I think of you as home
Its not about finding someone else,
Its all about being alone
Because who I am and who I`ll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
`Cuz if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend,
If we break apart?
How will I make, how will you take
My change of heart?
How will you take
My change of heart?”

how will you take it, really?

random but eye-opening thoughts.

random but eye-opening thoughts.

funny funny feeling. ive been sick for exactly one week now but it has been the worst for the past couple of days. went to work on thurs although i was miserable because i had a meeting. i actually went to work and meeting with a mask on. right after that meeting, *SWOOSH*, i swear i could’ve just dropped dead but i sought all the courage i had and flew to the doctors near my home only to find the doc’s out and won’t be back till another three more hours. went home and i was completely knocked out.
i had all the symptoms for h1n1. sore throat, BAD cough, flu, bad diarhhea, tummy spasms, body aches and then fever. actually, i didnt know i had fever because i don’t feel any warmth on my skin but internally, i do feel the heat. my colleague who touched me too, didn’t think i had fever. and you know what’s scarier? when i took off the mask i wore to work/meeting, i had brown stains on it. omfgscaryshitdotcom rite?!
went to the doctors immediately after i got up cos i felt worst than before. but doc assured me it wasn’t h1n1. phew but still, it was a complete torture going through all the things i had to go through. i went home, took my meds and knocked out again. the docs gave me superpowerfulmeds instead of the jabs i asked for so they were all superdrowsykindameds.
after almost a full day of sleep, i felt slightly better but still the tummy spasms, fever and cough won’t go away and i had lenka, boys like girls and paul freeman to catch. of course, there was some chinkychong singer that spoilt our appetites that seriously, we didn’t give two hoots about.
anyway, i dragged myself despite the discomfort to h-artistry. panicked like crazy since they have temperature checks all over. i even melted one of my termometers but that’s a whole diff story and i am not going to type the foolish things i did so you all can laugh like little annoying hyenas at me.
night started with the chinkychong singer. yadayada then came paul freeman. i’ve heard very vaguely of paul freeman and when he came out, i could hear ppl screaming ‘boys like girls! boys like girls’ and i think most of us who dunno them both well figured out much later that it was a false alarm. no, it wasn’t boys like girls but it’s paul WHO-AGAIN? freeman. he was not too bad i must say, except for his bad choice of selecting random people out of the crowd because we all disapproved of it. personal thingy, for me, and i dunno about the rest. lol. does it really matter?
lenka was next and i must say she was superduper awesome. not as pretty as i had expected but whothehellcares seriously because i think her music rocks my socks and thongs and nipple stickers. can’t believe she came from a kid’s show and when i think of someone who came out of a kid’s show, i think of fucktards like spears and that timberlake dude. absolutely two finger thumbs up and two toe thumbs up to lenka and the afro dude on saxaphone from her band.
couldn’t be bothered to stay for boys like girls so i passed my camera to remrem to do the photo snapping for me. by then, i realise antibiotics and the many other colorful pills i had to pop to stop my pain and discomfort doesn’t work well with alcohol (lesson learnt well, believe me). luckily i had good old daddy around town to fetch me and poof, home i went. it was an okay night but i must say, it was a bad idea heading to h-artistry. yes, lenka was worth the trouble but now i feel much worst than before. great! tsk.
and omfg, realise how long this entry is? lol. i havent written anything so long and senseless for a very long time. i wonder if it’ll gain me back my hundreds of readership i once had? i guess not. i can’t compete with those nuffnang-ers approved bloggers. i’ve lost my kick.
btw, im feeling a little twisted. i am currently editing photos from my farewell (from the old office) and i’m feeling a little hollow. very little but i really do miss some of the people there. despite how much we constantly bicker, have imaginary catfights, and bitchy eye rolling competition, there were some of them who were the nicest people i’ve known. yes, i know ive heard about how much ive been bitched about still, but i guess it happens everywhere so it’s nothing new. im sure i bitch about a lot of things too so i guess what goes around comes around?
i love my new workplace. no regrets so far. the people are lovely and almost too nice for my liking (lol, just kidding, but really, they are a bunch of sweet little darlings). it’s nothing like what i was warned about but then again, i’ve only been in the company for a month so there’s definitely more to be discovered. i have no regrets, at all, seriously, at the decisions i’ve made so far. let’s hope it’s the right choice because i was a little sceptical at first. maybe because i was already too comfortable with my old company that i was afraid of changes. it’s a good move. i’m sure it is. *pats herself on the back*
good nite people. time for meds and then to knock off again. seriously need all the rest i can get.
p/s: i’ve not seen isky since the eve of our anniversary. lol. that’s cos we’re both diagnosed with the same illnesses. what a lovely couple we make, don’t we?