Forgive me?

Forgive me?

I have always had regrets in my life. Most people usually do. But this has to be the worst regret ever. I guess the problem lies with me.I tend to trust people very easily. If I consider you to be one of my “close” friends, I automatically lose guard and usually trust the person whole-heartedly. But then again, isn’t that how things are supposed to be between good friends?
What I thought was a normal day-to-day girl talk/conversation ended up being something I was backstabbed for. And it ruined everything, everything I ever hoped for, everything I ever dreamt of, everything i ever wanted. When at last I thought everything was going on smoothly and was hoping for the best, things have just to take a turn for the worse. At last, for once, I am truly happy about something in life, it has to be taken away from me. What have I done to get this? Why do shitty things happen to me?
I do admit it’s partly my fault. For being so freaking stupid and naive and for trusting a good friend so much. Biggest mistake of my life. I’m sorry, I really am.
I am not writing this entry for self pity or to bitch about anyone. I don’t see the point really. It’s not like it can redo anything and make things any better. Its just that I feel so horrible and I’m going insane every day trying to figure out what I could do to make things better and back to how things used to be. I just needed to let this all out.
At this point, I don’t know what else I can do to make things okay and back to how things were. I know all the words I say to make u feel better, all the tears I cry because of this won’t change anything. But I truly am sorry. I can keep saying it over and over and over again, cause I truly mean it. I know you said things are not my fault and I am forgiven, but its not like it was before. I hate this. I hate the distance, i hate the weirdness between us. I just hate being this way.
All I’m asking is for a 2nd chance. Another chance at what we have/had, and I promise I won’t screw things up.
Please?
I love you.
I’m really sorry.
Moral of the story is: Good friends do backstab!
P/S : I need suggestions. What else can I do?


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37 Responses

  1. hehe. thanks. thanks for being here for me. really appreciate it.
    giving up seems like the only thing somehow.

  2. Hi, Max, i don’t know you much, but i hope you will recover back to normal life, and every thing will goes as you wish and you want
    if there is anything that i can do, ( as your big brother) let me know.
    take care and always look for the posetive side of the life
    bye

  3. hey thanks goodboy.. nice of you to leave a comment.
    well, yeah i hope things go well too. but so far, prayers havent really been answered yet.
    thanks though 🙂

  4. max, go out, have more fun ler. try to stop thinking about it. that’s how i move on when things dont work out the way i want them to be.
    going to one u sounds like a brilliant plan.

  5. the result of pry wont come so fast, you have to belive it inside yourself first, then can see the result, the main point is that we have to belive ourselves first.
    let me know if i can do anything, at least i can lsiten to you

  6. max.. if ur fren isnt willing to give it a 2nd chance.. do u think that person is really a friend.. im not trying to say she/he is not worth it.. but sometimes we have to be selfish

  7. Try going PD with our gang next Friday!
    Hey Becks, did Winston called Isky about the trip yet?
    Jom kita main volleybolasepak. Smack the tension out of life!

  8. hey eddy, this isnt my entry ler. lol. 😛
    im not sure if winston called iskii. when he accompanied me to the hospital today, he didnt say anything ler. kekeke. 😛 we just went to pd two weeks ago though.
    ur inviting maxine as well is it?

  9. *hugs hugs* get out n hv fun!!well,at least u knoe tht tht person is not a best fren after all.at tis point of time,u’ll definitely feel sad n disappointed but hey…there r still tons of other ppl who luv u n wanna u 2 feel happy n loved… =)
    it’s not use 2 make urself unhappy bcoz of a person who doesnt appreciate ur frenship….

  10. woa, kylie playing agony aunt. kekeke. see max, we all say the same thing so there’s gotta be some truth there, no? 😛

  11. im going to phuket in october!!! 😀 😀 dah book tickets dah… rm400. bleugh quite expensive la air asia.. ishh

  12. haha going to phuket again? is that like your second home, maxine? after penang. and even subang comes in third… LoL
    anyways hope things will get tons better for you, babe. we’re all here for you. 🙂

  13. bii, i mish you. 🙁
    max, APALA YOU! today come sjmc, never say hi la. bloody hell.
    and i saw ian with another chick at sjmc. :O

  14. abe, bring me go drinking, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase.
    so neeeeddd alco.. so need alco.
    okay la, coffee also can.
    havent had any caffeine (minus the lil sips of coke i curi-curi minum) for about two weeks plus.
    withdrawal symptom …s … airgh.
    *dies*

  15. fuwah. youre an alcoholic? goddamnit woman. im a recovering alcoholic so no i dont just simply go drinking these days. :p