biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, ai woof you! although my bii can never get up on time to accompany me to the docs anymore for the past two weeks, but still, thank you for everything. thank you for sending me home, thank you for dropping by my place to look for me even though it’s just for a very short while, thank you for watching me sleep, thank you for carrying my legs up when i cant move, thank you for tolerating my nuisances, thank you for so many other things, thank you for the wonderful past eight months and you’ve never even complained once!

happy 8th monthliiversarii, bii
i know most of you have threatened to boycott reading t-m.net if i state another bii-related entry, but hey, he’s part of my life now, so accept it. besides, if you cant accept the word, “bii”, think of it as erm, a name i call myself? becky (b) ooi (i) and i (as in myself) = bii? LOL. i just made that up. but really, bii, thank you.
i had a sudden heart-attack like pain that was so acute, i couldnt breathe about two days ago. my parents immediately sent me to sjmc eventhough it was right before midnight. i thought i was so gonna die because i was gasping for breath like a fish out of water and i almost passed out. the docs and nurses couldnt identify what exactly was wrong and ive been going in and out of the hospital for the past two days plus again. They’re suspecting costochondritis, an inflammation and associated tenderness of the cartilage (i.e., the costochondral joints) that attaches the front of the ribs to the breastbone. it seems to be affecting my whole left side and i can barely move my left arm. i felt (and still feel) so PARALYSED and so USELESS and thank god, ive got my bii to rely on.
i did a mini-surgery just now (or at least, that’s what they called it) spontaneously. i fasted for about six hours before doing the what-i-believe is gastroscope. i don’t know the exact terms and names cos they werent exactly explained to me. the docs are seriously at their wits end and cant seem to find out what’s the exact problem that’s causing me all these pain. my mom thinks someone’s keeping a voodoo doll of me or something. ive been going in and out of sjmc for five weeks, done all sorts of x-rays, scans, ultrasounds, tests and etc, but still no definite answer. ive checked everything from my brain to my knees. i’m now taking eight types of medication and still not feeling any better. oh god, help me.
anyways, it’s my bed time now. yes, 9:23pm and i’m already so damn tired. i got up at 7:45am. my body clock has changed tremendously. i used to sleep at 7:45am! lol. alrites, am going off now. three assignments to pass up on fri. wish me luck. *waves*
p/s: here’s a video of iskii wanking. ssssshhhhhh!

as a female, i think i suck at multitasking. i accidentally held a stranger’s hand AGAIN while i was on the phone, thinking it was iskii’s. and the best part was, for the whole five secs i was grabbing his arm, i didnt know i was holding on to the wrong persons’. i then walked away, hung up and turned around, only to realise it had been the wrong guy all along and his girlfriend stared hardcore cock at me. they both stood there, the guy looking puzzled and the girlfriend was well, giving me the bitchy eye.
i quickly ran away looking for iskii. seriously bii, STOP MOVING AWAY LA.i’m always holding some other peep’s arm instead of yours. i remembered during our first weekiiversarii at asia cafe, i kept hugging terence (aka terrymcberry la) and holding his hands by mistake. you see, i always try to hold iskii’s hands without looking and it’s usually when my concentration is on something else. terence will go, “oi, your bf’s there la. i’m not your bf”. damn shy wei. *blushes like a schoolgirl*
i prayed and hoped damn hard that i’d not bumped into that couple again because hello, it was fucking embarassing okay. we were then hungry and decided to go to chilis and we were damn lucky ler to be able to get cushion seats (i always demand for cushion seats wherever i go. yes, i’m a pampered lot) without me asking for it while there were groups of people waiting outside. as we sat, iskii went, “OMFGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and then continued gasping. “WHATTT?!!!!!!!” i panicked. “look to your left. quick! the couple on the left, at the bar”, he continued. i turned around and couldnt recognise the couple (sorry la, but i am a natural blurhead). “uhm?”, i replied. “it’s the coupleee la biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!” iskii said excitedly. “what.. no la… *checks* oh farrrk, it’s thattttt coupleee…. dieeeeeeee… biiiii!!!! *hides face under menu*”, i squealed panickly. i obviously wasnt feeling comfortable but anyway, they left about half an hour later without noticing us. PHEW, that was close.
note to self: see, becky, you should stop multitasking cos you SUCK at it. amen.
p/s: the whole world seems to be in one utama tonite. i guess it’s prolly due to the grand opening of forever 21 tonite. got a manicure set from them earlier. heh, they’ve got awesome stuffs. thank goodness they have finally made it over to our shores. *kowtows*

right after my surgery, ive been busy running around doing errands. anything but my assignments and getting plenty of rests (i mean, yes, i sleep slightly more than i usually do, but it’s not those twelve hours long type of sleep you know. and it isnt a peaceful sleep, either). i usually get up feeling even more tired.

ive been putting all my assignments aside and it’s now three weeks overdued. i am almost done with one, which was due last week, and another four more to go. oh gawd, i’m fucked. but seriously, i’m not only feeling weaker by the day but i feel so damn nauseous all the time, dizzy, hot tempered, emotional, confused, bloated, and sometimes, my vision gets blurry. my mom’s asking me to skip my class (again!) tomorrow and go straight to sjmc and ask what’s up with all this. anyways, i’ll upload piccies and update slightly more later. i feel like throwing up again. airgh.
happy 23rd birthday, raymond
logged on to my icq after years. what used to be the most happening chat program’s so dead. out of the three hundredish peeps, only five are on and they arent even people i talk to. i used to have so much fun chatting on icq. there used to be sooo manyyyy great people, just like mIRC. people, log in to your icq! *wails*
p/s: random lines. if you were to type tickleme or becky ooi on your firefox address bar, it brings you straight to this site. and thanks lynn for the great farewell party. tata!

yes, i’m back from my surgery. everything went fine. i was under general anesthetic but i woke up immediately after my surgery with no giddyness and what nots. the nurses and docs were asking me why was i so alert and hyper because i kept making noise about me wanting to pee (sticking a cystoscope into ur pussy is no fun, ok and it makes you have the urge to pee all the time). they just wouldnt let me cos i had tubes and wires and all that shinnits on me and i was fresh from the operation theatre. i was then moved back to day care centre and i told them i want to be discharged immediately but my blood pressure was too low (or was it diastolic pressure?). it was only 31 and they’ll discharge me only if it’s above 55 or something because they are afraid that i’ll faint on my way out. so the nurse quickly made me a cup of milo (since ive been fasting since early morning and the surgery was in the afternoon) and told me to rest. nobody believed me when i said i wasnt giddy, dizzy, drowsy and etc and i was very restless because the urge to pee was killing me. i was allowed to go pee then but it hurt so badly. it felt like a thousand daggers stabbing my vagina whenever i tried peeing. it is then followed by a burning sensation and blood flow. it’s just horribly dreadful.

anyways, it’s really has been a tiring day. i was not allowed to drive nor go out at all but to just rest at home right after my surgery but noOoooOo, ive been waiting for da vinci code for almost a year and since ive got the charity premier tix to be one of the first in the world to watch the movie, of course i’m not giving up the opportunity. even if i were to be admitted, i’ll sneak out just to watch it, okay. and i actually took the time to dress up for the movie. well, da vinci code was … moderately okay. maybe because ive been anticipating it for soooo damn long and well, it’s just okay. i’d give it a 2.5989/5. i guess, it’s better to read the book (which ive not yet touch because i dont wanna have toooo high an expectation) after the movie. the castings were alright but the camerawork sucked big time. OMFG. I HATED THE CAMERAWORK SO BADLY! it actually spoilt the movie’s flow and what nots man. i’ll think of more to say later. i’m too darn tired. nobody would believe i just got out of surgery today man seeing that i actually managed to lepak at asia cafe and then attend da vinci code’s charity premier.
anyways, thanks to everyone who came to look for me yesterday, called and texted me. i know a few scolded me because of my stubborness (they wanted me to skip da vinci code) but it was worth it ler. and lastly, thank you my biiloved for being with me at sjmc today, waiting patiently for me while i was in the operating theatre. i love you… bii, more than ever.

today was a pretty much eventful day, i would say. this entry’s gonna be very reporty so people like abe, bear with me, please. the day started out with me meeting up with my sleeping partner at hartamas to go for a yard sale in prima duta. omfgwhatdafackadilly wei. the journey there was pretty adventurous. we sure went through a lot of “ups and downs” together, alrite. lol.
the yard sale wasnt what we expected although there were plenty of pretty stuffs but only if you’re five times smaller than me, then it’s your place to go. thank goodness i didnt wear my super lowcut sundress man. i think tengku nora’s the host and she’s pretty friendly, i would say. sending a text to apologise since we both left empty handed. but it’s alrite because the rest of the day was interesting. i spontaneously thought we should go pai pai (pray), since it’s wesak day (buddha’s birthday). my parents left for malacca earlier today to attend a mother’s day dinner and i usually attend “prayers” with them.


now, both of us rite, who have no idea how to pray and what nots, decided to go pray. i mean, it’ll be fun. after all, it’s to show that we still respect our religion and it’s pretty cool. and i want to collect my “wesak day” string. i dunno what is it suppose to serve as but i usually get one every wesak. so i thought, hey, i should go get one myself this year and so i dragged my sleeping partner along. before we reached jln gasing’s thai buddhist temple, my biiloved called and wished me good luck cos the crowd was pure madness. so we drove over to iskii’s parent’s place and he dropped us off at the temple. omg. the crowd’s really crazy and it started drizzling when we got there. i straight away ran to the place where you’re suppose to get blessings from the monks and then he’ll pass you the lil yellow strings (which is one of the reasons why im there rite). we kneeled down and hold both our palms together. earlier, my sleeping partner was asking me how to pray and i told her just hold both palms together and shake it. hahaha. but she came up with something smarter, she suggested, “eh, just look at how people pray la, then we follow”. pretty brilliant. smart girl. *pats*
and so we were sprinkled with holy water as the monk chanted. it was pretty bimbo-ish of me cos instead of concentrating, i was worrying about my mascara smearing. wtf. damn kau no respect man. my bad. and then it came to the part where he distributes the lil strings. i didnt know there was a SPECIAL way of holding out ur palms and he stared cock at me. so i quickly looked at the others and then realise you’re suppose to place your right palm on your left palm and then curl it a little. heh. i’m quite a fast learner, eh? and so, hooray, mission accomplished! i got my lil yellow strings!
we then went around the shrine snapping photos, competing with a very high-tech monk. he too was going around the place snapping pictures. damn canggih. and then i noticed a long queue and wondering what it was for. at the end of the queue, i see people kneeling down on cushion stools (?) and “bathing” the buddha statue. the ritual is called bathing buddha, me thinks. and so, SP and me queued and joined the crowd. when it was about to reach our turn, i realise there was a special procedure in “bathing” this buddha statue. you’re suppose to kneel, fill the ladle and pour it over the statue three times, chanting a new line of mantra each time. my SP chickened out last minute so i was the only one doing it.
before we managed to go ring the bells and go to the main temple, it started pouring heavier so we decided to call iskii (that poor boi was waiting for us and he ended up in states). poor SP, im sorry you didnt get to ring the bells. i’ll bring you again next year k? *pats* as we hopped into my bii’s truck, my bii suggested we go find the flyfm cruisers (whatever they call themselves ler). pengsan wei cos rite, before this, we bumped into the hitz.fm prado cruisers and i told my SP to stop cos i needed coke (they give out free cokes, u see). hahaha but we cabut in the end so yea, no coke for me.



anyways, back to the flyfm cruisers rite, my bii is so damn smart. he damn layan all those peeps ler. and he got a cap at first. the cap’s damn nice and he placed it on my head. dammmmmmmmn cute but it was too big. and then next, he answered another question and got me a shirt. hahaha. and then rite, the both of us, damn tak layan the fellas and he disturbed us by asking us how come we’re not doing anything (cos everyone else were actually responding to their questions damn excitedly while we both stood in a corner and watch). so i raised my hand and said, “flyfm” (you’re suppose to do this whenever they ask you something to win yourself prizes) but the thing is, he didnt ask anything. he continued disturbing le by saying, “ehh… but you’re too late”. i twitched my mouth and he went, “alarr… ok ok, take this” and he handed me a keychain. quite lawa also la the keychain. so yeay, we’ve got three goodies already. and then suddenly this flyfm dude gave us flyfm car stickers (and he gave only us, the antisocials). hahaha. so yeay, i got four goodies from them but in the end, i gave my bii back the cap because, quite kesian rite, he answered all the tough questions and i keep the goodies. he looooves the cap. damn nice wei their stuffs. i want somooooreeeeeeeee. SP, jommmmmmmm, let’s go hunt for them, yea?
after that, we went for banana leaf rice at paandis and omfg, the fella there was damnn friendly ler. but that’s prolly because iskii grew up dining there. that dude somore dare admit he taught iskii how to smoke. *insert bitchy eyes* damn generous ler the portion but somehow, they still cant beat my fav bangsar banana leaf rice. i’ll write a short review at www.fooxion.com when im free. oh yea, do check that forum out. it’s a malaysian food forum. so if you love to eat, you should join. i should leave. this entry is damn boring, i know but i cant help it. i had lotsa fun exploring things and doing new stuffs. yes, i admit, i’m a jakun. i dont careeeee!
p/s: you know what? my SP and i are both two very weird people. we were suppose to meet up again for supper but it has been postponed to dim sum buffet on sunday morning, right after our jogging session. damn lawaks man. wanna join? i love you… bii!

(/edited) @ 2:33am & 10:39am, 11th may 2006
i finally found what my surgery’s all about. it’s called interstitial cystitis. im feeling so damn kau nauseous now. fark la. im rushing for assignments all somore. someone, painkillers, pleasssseeee. lucy!, i got ur mail but i’m rushing for assignments now, so i’ll reply you later, yea. take care, babes.
(/edited)
i was speaking to my sleeping partner about crying over movies or cartoons, to be specific. how normal is it to cry over cartoons such as land before time, bambi and lilo and stitch, i wonder. i mean, hey, i was a very emo kid okay. for a kid to watch a cartoon about another kid (which are animals, in the cartoons) to lose their mother and all IS VERY THE SAD AND IS WORTH YOUR TEARS. about lilo and stitch, hrmphs, i cant remember why but i know i did shed a tear or two in the cinema. and OoooOoo… an american tale! my gawd. cartoons that are so damn emo.

my sleeping partner said she cried over lion king and stuart little. heh. my fav childhood movies that prolly made me cry were (if im not mistaken), anne of green gables and shawshank redemption (which sandy pronounces it as, sssssssssshhhssshhh redemption. she cant say SHAWSHANK!) bwahahaha. *evil laughter* so what movies/cartoons made you cry eh?. it’s okay, you can put your ego aside and share. tee hee hee.
anyways, thank you for all the well wishes. im fine. doc cant determine the exact cause for my bleeding (which occurred since a couple of days back), but i’m fine. thank you very the muchy. *beams* i have suddenly gained three kilos in just a matter of few days but i believe it’s just due to water retention or something. we’ll see. my weight is also a big problem to my health so i seriously need to say goodbye to all the cheesecakes and mashed potatoes for the time being. im considering of continuing my fasting or something. we’ll see how thing goes. three more weeks before i bid adios to college for good but im also considering on doing my masters. i havent really made a decision yet. ive got people asking me briefly to work for them once im out but i am not sure if im ready to work just yet. we’ll see. like the muslims will say, “insya-allah” or the christians, “god’s will”. i wonder what do chinese say, eh? alrite, anyways, updated my photo albums. toodles.

hur, let’s clear something first. the below entry wasnt written by me, peeps. lol. okay, today marks my fourth day going to sjmc. ive been spending four days in sjmc doing check ups. no, i wasnt admitted but i pretty much spent my whole day there, for as long as eight hours, doing test after test. ive done, let me see… electrocardiogram (ECG) , echocardiogram, ultrasounds for various parts, umpteen blood tests and urine tests, vagina scan, intravenous urography (IVU) and chest x-rays. my chest and my vagina has pretty much “lost it’s value”, i would say, since i get strangers spreading my legs or helping me lift my bras up.. heh. twas a joke, just in case there are some of you who cant take them.
you know, yesterday, when the doctor was taking another blood sample from me, blood started gushing out and dripped all over my arm. i bet those lil kids who saw it were pretty freaked out. the doc, if he’s a doc, even said, “oh sorry, i think ive used the wrong needle”. O_________o whattt?! ish. but he’s a really nice guy so it’s cool. no permanent damage done anyway. and i would specially like to thank yeeng for accompanying me on my second day for eight frigging long hours in the hospital. she had to sit, sit, and sit even more while i were running around doing the tests and what nots. so damn schweet. thank you iskii for accompanying me on my first day. the other days, well, ive just decided to go myself because erm, no one volunteered and quite shy also ler if i keep asking people to accompany me all.
so yea, ive seen a gynecologist, urologist, cardiologist and soon, a rheumatologist. hiphiphooray! and seriously, i dont fucking care la if i have friends who dont care about me. i also dont fucking care if you care about YOUR FACE or your so called pride more than anything else in the world so you can just go fuck yourself. i’m too sick to bother if you just love pissing people off because i obviously, have more important things to attend to in my life than you do with yours. and hello, the world does not revolve around you and stop acting like everyone’s owing you or something. thank you. okay, my hormones have all gone bonkers and it has pretty much fucked up my system. ive actually fasted for two days with no food nor drinks (the first day was a whole 15 hours without food, 9 hours without water and the second day was 12 hours with no food). hur, enough rambling. i know this entry’s quite technical but just thought of updating to those who are, in any way, concerned. my “surgery” (it’s actually just a biopsy, me thinks), as written on my bill, is on 17th of may. i told them i dont want to be admitted so i’ll be placed under daycare. oh yea, anyway, forgot to mention, ive got a 4.3cm x 4.5cm cyst in my right uterus. ive got a polaroid of it but im too lazy to scan. so yea, that’s all. good luck with your health. ta.
p/s: i love youuuuu….. my fenditta!

I have always had regrets in my life. Most people usually do. But this has to be the worst regret ever. I guess the problem lies with me.I tend to trust people very easily. If I consider you to be one of my “close” friends, I automatically lose guard and usually trust the person whole-heartedly. But then again, isn’t that how things are supposed to be between good friends?
What I thought was a normal day-to-day girl talk/conversation ended up being something I was backstabbed for. And it ruined everything, everything I ever hoped for, everything I ever dreamt of, everything i ever wanted. When at last I thought everything was going on smoothly and was hoping for the best, things have just to take a turn for the worse. At last, for once, I am truly happy about something in life, it has to be taken away from me. What have I done to get this? Why do shitty things happen to me?
I do admit it’s partly my fault. For being so freaking stupid and naive and for trusting a good friend so much. Biggest mistake of my life. I’m sorry, I really am.
I am not writing this entry for self pity or to bitch about anyone. I don’t see the point really. It’s not like it can redo anything and make things any better. Its just that I feel so horrible and I’m going insane every day trying to figure out what I could do to make things better and back to how things used to be. I just needed to let this all out.
At this point, I don’t know what else I can do to make things okay and back to how things were. I know all the words I say to make u feel better, all the tears I cry because of this won’t change anything. But I truly am sorry. I can keep saying it over and over and over again, cause I truly mean it. I know you said things are not my fault and I am forgiven, but its not like it was before. I hate this. I hate the distance, i hate the weirdness between us. I just hate being this way.
All I’m asking is for a 2nd chance. Another chance at what we have/had, and I promise I won’t screw things up.
Please?
I love you.
I’m really sorry.
Moral of the story is: Good friends do backstab!
P/S : I need suggestions. What else can I do?