santarina becks blogs
in our lives, we have plenty of people that comes and goes. sabby, for instance, was back into our lives just two weeks ago and now she’s flying off again on new years’. some of them leaves impact and makes a difference and some dont. it is the year end again and everyone’s so excited that the new year’s just around the corner. it fancies me really on why people are celebrating the fact that time’s passing us by so quickly and that we are not growing any younger. as the years passes by, we meet more challenges, people from all walks of life and we have even more responsibilites to handle. of course, a new year signifies a new hope for some but it also means that we could be giving ourselves false hopes. hopes and dreams that we can never achieve and could only long for. i know ive set goals for myself for the past few years and i am yet to achieve them (see, that’s why you shouldnt make new year resolutions you cant keep) and each year, i get more and more disappointed with myself. i am not being a pessimist here but do think over it before you go to bed.
yes, i have met some of the best people in my life who have changed my perception on things and life itself but i have also lost a great amount of them as well. there are many things in life i wish i had done differently so that things wouldn’t be this bitter but i guess it is through these mistakes that will teach us how to be stronger and wiser in future undertakings. i am not saying i regret the things ive done over the years because i am happy being who i am (although there are a couple of dirty habits that i would so love to get rid of). im sure we all wonder about the same things at time, what if we had chosen the other path? the road not taken. what couldve changed and how different it couldve been. it’s not wrong now, is it?
year 2005 has been no different from the many other years before it. i have had my fair share of ups and downs but like ive said, it has taught me some of the most important lessons in life and brought me friendships i would cherish for a very long time to come. i would personally like to thank sandy, yeeng, terry (who is damn buruk siku for god’s sakes!), maxine, stoneyboy and none other than my dear iskii for making year 2005 great and for always being there for me. ive written some personal thank you entries to some of the mentioned individuals but i’ll post it some other time because this entry is already as thick as the bible if you were to print it out.
alrite, im gonna summarise my year by the months. certain contents could be offensive to some esp those that im talking about but it really did happen. enjoy scrolling down.
jan 2005 – i became the goldilocks of bukit jalil with blonde curls on my head. it was a huge transformation but it was fun being ah lian for a while. it was a month full of meet up sessions and parties. it was a great start indeed. well, apart from the morons i had to deal with then though esp the bitch whom i had to deal when i got into an accident.
feb 2005 – it’s the month of love and all that shinnits again and i organised my annual vday groupdate and this time it was held at a proper hotel, pyramid tower. omfg. it was fabulous! i had so much fun. too bad the gang is kicking me out of the event next year just cause i have iskii. oye, how can you kick me out since I AM THE GOD DAMN ORGANISER?
march 2005 – this is the month i got to know iskii better just because he saw i joined dcm. we have always talked a lot back in the irc and icq days but yea, somehow, it’s just weird that we spoke more than ever through msn just because of a forum that im not even active in.
april 2005 – i was finally over him, the monstrous lying imbecile jerk, and i know ive never told anyone how, but it was through iskii and the support of my other friends, mainly, the notorious mamak gang. it made me realise that it was not worth to go through so much for someone whom i dont even believe i have “anything” to begin with (i know i didnt feel that way then but even up till today. it was more of an ego problem i was going through but yea, ive got that settled. he has to lie about things so i doubt i shall ever trust him again even as friends). ive even blogged and changed my msn emoticons after seven agonising months. it was also the month i bought my long-waited lomocam and my mobile after my long-serving 8250 died on me.
may 2005 – this is one perasan month for me because suddenly, everyone’s saying i look like joss stones. i still dont think i look anything like her but up till today, there are about 32 diff peeps who think so. go get your eyes check la, haiyor. desiree, one of my bestest college mates, left for uk to be with gabriel. and i attended the kl fashion week together with my beloved yeeng. that was quite an experience since some guy tried to pick us up but failed miserably. i was also suffering from urinary tract infections (UTI) then and had to go for further check up in SJMC.
june 2005 – i started falling for the drifting scene thanks to my bii (he wasnt my bii then la). it was also the month i lost my ‘virginity’ as i got totally wasted for the first time. i had a price to pay for it because till today, ian tries to stop me from getting near any liquor just in case history repeats itself. TSK, aw, come on, give me a break! i drink occasionally (and quite recent lately) and you dont see me getting all fucked up, right? i had a reason why i drank so much that nite so ian, let’s go drinking again soon? yeeng celebrated her 21st on the 29th btw and i went to singapore.
july 2005 – this was one befuddling month i tell you. i was left in the dark and i did not know what was going on. iskii and i just stopped contacting each other without any reason. he avoided me and i just left it at that. like i say, one leaves, another comes. i got stoney on the 29th of july. my bro’s so called “be-early” birthday present for me. it was of course, the best ever. i loooooove stoney so much. he’s the baby of my family and my mom’s calls him her younger son. he gets all the attention and affection, really. it was also the month i first went liquor shopping near the ghetto and i started to like baking cakes.
aug 2005 – I FINALLY TURNED 21. i had fun at my party (duh, cos i was the host). got the cartilage piercing i wanted for years but never had the guts to do so. it was a spur-of-the-moment thingy and hooray, got it done (the hole’s close now though thanks to the hairdresser). i went to peedee for the rave (my first rave since 24 aug 2002) and it was disappointing. no offence, joe. maybe because my mind was elsewhere and i wasnt concentrating much on the rave.
sept 2005 – iskii texted me the reason why things were the way it was. and i was even more confused. it just felt weird but we started being close again. of course, i was very cautious because i dont want to upset myself again. i also met with an accident and dennis got himself another butt crack (since the dent’s in the middle of his back). the idiot who knocked me was willing to pay then but now that ive done up my car, he refuses to take responsibility. mcb, i hope you get run over by a truck, really.
oct 2005 – beckiskii was formed and we’re now together as one. ive always been in denial about my feelings for iskii but i guess that nite, 1st oct 2005, we just opened ourselves up and ta-ra-pa-pa-pa, we’re together. i never knew we have fallen so deeply in love with each other. i’m glad whatever happened before, happened, because it somehow strengthens our relationship. david skywalker passed away. it was a sad incident, really.
nov 2005 – it was a month full of celebrations where gerald, max, terence, garick and weng onn celebrated their birthdays. i was also there at iskii’s open house and yea, i had quite a lot of stuffs to do that month. won a design competition that month, btw.
dec 2005 – another month full of celebrations. more makan sessions and all. i was in pee dee (port dickson la, just in case you didnt know) with iskii for his drift event and i had so much fun then. ive also met some of the weirdest people during this month. i guess, all in all, it was a good year because it ended well. what did i say about new years again? 2006, bring it on, baby! if i have ever offended you in any way, im sorry. let’s all start anew? happy new year 2006, y’all!

*year 2005*
I would really like to do a “summary” just like last year but unfortunately i can’t because there’s just too many things going on in my head now. So this is really just gonna be a summary.
I guess the year 2005 started off just like any other year. CNY gatherings, angpows, gambling and mahjong sessions. This year’s Valentine’s Day was really fun too. It’s definitely my first time celebrating Valentine’s Day with so many people but it’s all good :D. There’s also MANY MANY birthday parties to attend as most of my friends turned 21 this year. WOW…there goes all my money!! 🙁 but it’s all worth it after all the things they did for me 😀 My 21st birthday was abit special this year. I actually had a party. I said special because it was my FIRST EVER birthday party. I’ve never had a birthday party in my whole entire life before. haha well i guess there’s always a first time >.<. After my birthday came becky's birthday :D. Her party has always been fun and full of people and this year was no exception. We really enjoyed ourselves at her birthday party held in duta vista. Lots of food with weird names + lots of crazy people + lots of liquor = superb party :D. Max's birthday was just as fun. hehe we went to asia cafe for dinner and pool and continued with yum char session at DJ. Sometimes it's not the place that matters but it's the company that counts *winks* Besides birthday parties, there were also trips to PD and Cameron Highlands with my high school friends. My experience in Camerons is definitely an unforgettable one especially the steamboat dinner :D. There's nothing much for me to say about my love and study life. It's as boring as ever. A year has passed since the tsunami happened. Let us not forget about those that didnt make it through. Eventhough my family members and relatives are going through a not-so-good time, I really hope things will get better. This is the time for us to be grateful for what we have and to appreciate what we have. I guess that's all for now. Although I didn't get to wish all of you a merry christmas I still wanna wish you all a Merry Belated Christmas and also a HAPPY NEW YEAR. I hope the year 2006 will bring you all lots of luck and happiness.

It