*hehe*

*hehe*

it’s me again. oh btw it’s yeeng here. haha. i think it would be better to inform everyone that it’s my entry since quite a number of u guys mistaken my previous entry as becky’s entry. hmmmm…….bad news again. I AM SICK! how can this happen? have been coughing like hell the whole day. i just hate cough so much. i dont give a damn to fever or flu but i just couldnt stand cough! it just pissed me off when i started coughing when i tried to talk. i hate it so much when i coughed in the middle of a movie (that was what happened today). hopefully i’ll be ok tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a very long day AGAIN. hehe. oh yeah WARNING: DO NOT WATCH THE VILLAGE! a waste of money and time 🙁
actually i have alot of things to share but i don’t know whether i should post it here or not. hmm….arghhh…wth lar i am going to post it no matter what. 🙂 hehe. i was talking to a close friend of mine the other day. she looked really troubled so i just casually asked her what was wrong. she told me that she was really scared and worried. she said that she’s very worried because she’s losing herself in her relationship and that it scares her so much when she realized that she will do anything for her bf. she stopped after that maybe because she thought i would not understand how she was feeling. so i told her that i understand exactly how she was feeling because i was once in her shoes before. sometimes i just wish that i can just be with someone i love and be happy all the time. okok i know. i am lying to myself 😛 well, i know that every relationship requires sacrifices but the question is how much should we sacrifice?
a very hard question indeed coz there is no definite answer but i can tell u guys what i think. hehe. and pls do share ur opinion on it ok 😛
ok.i never talk about this publicly before. but i’ve been keeping it to myself for so long. time to let it out. 🙂 hope u guys dont mind ya. hmm..like what i said just now. i was once in my friend’s shoes before. that time when i was with my first ex i was willing to sacrifice anything for him. i felt scared too. i was losing myself in that relationship. at one point of time, i didnt even know what i was doing. i got upset easily when he did things he was not supposed to. we argued over small matters. our arguments were so frequent until both of us couldnt take it anymore. we were arguing like 2-3 times a week? who can take that? he will always just walk away and went home everytime we argued. it hurts so much everytime he walked away just like that. i never expected any return for all the sacrifices i made because i know he sacrificed too. after being together for almost 3 yrs, everything ended just like that. it hurts so much. but what hurts me the most was him walking away just like that and left me alone to go through all these. but i was lucky because i have alot of friends who were there for me when i needed them. i made a promise to myself that i will never sacrifice so much for a guy again coz in the end i will get hurt again.
months passed by, i never expect to get into a relationship so soon again. until i met him. no it wasn’t love at first sight ok. 🙂 things were just going superbly. i was really happy when i got to see him and talked to him on the phone everyday. nvr expect myself to fall in love again so soon but he was really special (to me of coz) haha. we got together not long after that. things at first was really nice. i didnt realize how much i was in love that time until i found myself doing things that i never done for any guy b4 (not even for my first ex). for once, i wasn’t losing myself. i know what i was doing. i was willing to sacrifice once again. just a thank you, a hug or seeing him smile was all it takes to make my sacrifice worthwhile. i wish things would just continue that way. but it did not. what about the promise i made to myself? a part of me was willing to sacrifice anything but another part of me was stopping me. the reason? i dont want to get hurt again. because of the fear of getting hurt again, i began to complain he doesnt spend time with me ( i was feeling insecure ) etc. i guess he got fed up of my constant complaints but he couldn’t do anything for me and he didnt want to hurt me anymore so he decided to end it. as if history was repeating itself, he just walked away and all i could do was seeing him leave. it really hurts alot to see someone u love walked away just like that.
will i ever sacrifice for someone so much again? i will say YES without any doubt. for me, that’s what relationships are all about. it’s about making sacrifices and compromises and discovering each other and eventually accepting each other for who he/she is. so how much i sacrifice doesnt matter at all. because sacrifices are not meant to be measured that way. if u think it’s worth sacrificing just go for it. in the end onli u know what will make u happy. it will only be meaningful if u love with all u have. a close friend of mine told me the other day that she really salutes me for being able to move on so quickly after a break up. she said she can never do it. haha. y would u want yourself to be unhappy? life still moves on whether you are heartbroken or you are in love. the reason why i can move on so quickly was because i never blamed them or mad at them for leaving me. for some people thinking about all those good times they had with their ex-gf/bf will only make things worst. but for me it was the opposite. thinking about those good times i had with him never fails to bring a smile to my face even until now. eventhough our relationship lasted only for three months but these three mths are one of the happiest periods in my life. i am not really sad right now. yes, i lost him but what matters the most to me is i was able to be together with him, even just for a short while. one thing for sure, i will never let go the one i love. i didnt let them go but it was them that let me go. all i can say is, never let go the one u love and love with all u have. life is all about taking risks. in life, if u let go certain things, they might not come back to u anymore. the most important thing is never ever have regrets in your life.
well, i am not feeling lonely at all now. hehe. u know why? because i always have the sweet memories to accompany me.hehe. he can take away everything i have but he can never take away the memories i had with him. and those memories are the things i cherished the most >.< well, who knows what will happen tomorrow? life is really too short. so for those who are in a relationship, always treasure your bf/gf. for those who are single, i wish u guys all the best! may u find your mr.right/ms.right soon! LOL! p/s: i know he will definitely read this post. i posted this up not because of anything. i just want to let it out. i've been keeping things to myself all this while. i am sorry guys. this entry is really very long. really sorry. but anyway thanks for reading 🙂 * huggiesss*


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16 Responses

  1. lol. damn long eh. i was expecting to read a sad post lol.. but u so happy, make me jealous sial.
    anyways… wish u all the best in ur relationship(s). keke

  2. sighs. u were EXACTLY IN MY SHOES. go read my livejournal!
    my whole world was crumbling down but im happy he chose me. i feel so on top of the world now but i really hope he doesnt change his mind because then it’ll be too huge an impact for me.
    i would’ve blogged the same exact entry hours ago but since he told me he decides to choose me, im so happy.
    lastly, i love you joe!
    haha. i know takde kaitan :”D
    blehs :”D

  3. i love u max. I DO! i love everyone who has been on my side. who has been supporting me throughout all the way. i love you guys so much. tau sar pneah on me for all!
    and oh, btw, i was wondering, if i ever join something like m’sian idol, will u guys vote for me no matter how much i suck? lol. just a thought :”D

  4. OF COURSE LAH.THEN WHEN U WIN, U BE FAMOUS..THEN U CAN INTRO ME TO MORE FAMOUS PEOPLE …BWUAHAHAHAHAH !

  5. ESPECIALLY FAMOUS & RICH HUNKS RIGHT?!
    set lah. i’ll go vocal training dulu. next year i’ll try for m’sian idol. ho ho ho X”D
    so i can be famous and intro max to famous cute hunks :”D

  6. warh warh not bad…..banyak comments 😛
    ivan: apa lar u..y alwiz expect sad entry from me wan 😛 hehe..thanks alot…good luck to u too k…*huggiess*
    becky:hehe..i am really really happy for you 🙂 i hope he wont change his mind again after this. sorry about yesterday night. i was very sick. now still sick but not that bad liao..had to skip class today >.<
    max: hehe..me record holder! 😛 mayb can enter the guiness world of records? lol! 😛 then i’ll be famous too like becky! hahaha

  7. the multifacet aspect of life is balanced by the unknown possibilities in life… the equation of love is often impossible to solve as there is no one straight method that will work for everyone, as all of us are different, thus all of us will arrive with different methods of solving the equation n when we do we get the common answers; love, security… perhaps through all your experiences; especially the question abt how much shld one be willing to sacrifice..at the end of the day, the sacrifice shld not compromise your principles, level of expectation of both sides and it sacrifices shld be done on impulse…most importantly, both sides must talk abt the issue of sacrifice n be open abt it..expectations of both sides must be aired out to ensure the i-did-something-for-u-but-u didn’t-anything-for-me syndrome does not occur. most of the time this type of things are not said, both parties assume that both sides shld know what it takes to succed in a relationship but they don’t, n tho’ they might admit they don’t to their friends, they don;t admit it in front of the person that needs to hear it the most. Being afraid in a relationship is not wrong, in fact its one of the most natural feelings when it comes to it; be verbal abt how you feel to each other n be open abt it..^_^ when entering relationships, i guess u have to open urself up n b vulnerable, its scary letting someone see u totally as who u are at the same time exciting..keke a paradox of some sort i suppose..keke anyways at this moment in time, i think its more important for you to spent more with your friends and keep on discovering more abt urself and the ppl around..u needn’t worry abt not getting anyone, u definitely will..just keep being urself n be happy in all u do ^_^ okie im officially quitting this dear thelma thingy..keke not good at it at all, so what ever i said its not a hard n fast rule..keke its just the way i see it ^_^

  8. that’s a good entry…positive mind when facing any problems is very good….
    i agree much of the things u write yeeng..
    give thumbs up for ur way of thinking and ur courage to post this up…i don’t think i can do like u,i always prefer to keep things to myself…as long as i can improve myself,the past will just be a lesson and reflection to do better things..:P

  9. dutt : haha…finally a comment from u here! LOL! hehe..anyway thanks alot for spending your time to read my entry and sharing your view on it. i really appreciate it 🙂 so when am i going to see u huh? u’ve been really really busy nowadays. hehe and did u manage to get into the badminton team? just give me a call when u r free k? 🙂
    apria: thanks!:P sometimes we just have to be positive. eventhough your friends will be there for u when u need them but in the end you yourself will still be the one who is going to decide what to do and how to go through it. but of coz with your frens around it’s alwiz much easier to go through it ^^ hehe. anyway all the best to u in everything u do *hugz* 😛

  10. hie yeeng and becky! 🙂 wow,this is really a looooong entry! but seeing u moved on that fast really impresses me. good girl! stay happy ok? and i used my ‘precious’ office hour to read ur post HAHA but who cares anyway. hm, i’ll help u to spank that special someone as i promised u? haha.u take care alright? off for now.Peace out.

  11. ivy: thanks alot! *hugggiess* may god bless u too! 🙂
    derrick: hahaha….surprise surprise surprise! u actually commented on my entry! now go do ur work! haha 🙂 u take care too! *hugggiess*

  12. omg! DUTT WAY READS THIS BLOG?!!! *omg* unexpectednya… and wai seng?! HI!!! haha :”D
    yeeng, he did choose me. i hope it’s for real. damn sam foo wan ler =( MUACKS! u better t.care of urself k. muacks :”D