Monthly Archives: August 2004

sickity sick

sickity sick

alot of things have happened in just this short period of time. but first, i’d like to inform you that today marks the 3rd death anniversary for my beloved angel, brian oliver corray. angel, i hope things are fine now. im sorry i didnt attend your prayers last year. whei meng said he isnt sure if there are any for you this year at st. francis xavier church but told me to check out myself. i dun think i can make it this year too. i hope you do understand my condition, darling angel. as you know, me, eve mama and jolyne gmama will always be missing you. not forgetting everyone elses from ultraunix. love you, angel.
well, for the past two days, i was really sick. i could barely get out of my bed at all. gastric it seems. my friends blame me for it because ive been trying to lose weight so badly but the thing is, i havent skipped any meals. i only cut down on my food. ive managed to lose like 6kg but the pain that i have to go through, brrr… is so not worth it. however, im sure this gastric has nothing to do with my dieting because im very sure i didnt skip any meals. i was in too much pain yesterday early morning that my dad has to go round and round looking for a clinic that opens at 7am in the morning. we found one, a 24 hours clinic and the doctor said my gastric is pretty bad and gave me an injection. i spent the whole day in bed until joe 7th came over to pay me a visit. and i had very high fever too which came out of the blue but oh well, glad im recovering now. *muacks*
i was back in m’cca for prayers during the weekend. nothing much to say. joe 7th was in penang for a makan-makan trip. the amount they ate would scare the shit out of everyone, really. and ive 90% made up my mind not to be in UK with eve mama and jolyne gmama but to continue studying locally and do my masters in UK instead. that’s because just as i was about to apply to study in UK, my uni came up with a irresistable new degree programme, Professional Communication (Hons) and it’ll cost only about rm40k for a year and a half. very pricey still if you were to compare to other local unis. i just found out my uni’s price is almost four times pricier than other local colleges and uni but oh well, that’s what you pay for to be in a deviant uni, i guess.
oh yea, happy 47th independence day, malaysia. today also marks kristina’s 21st birthday. to all those of you who knows her, quick go wish her. hehe. im off to bed. my spasms are back. grrr.. so pain…

uber confusion on unis

uber confusion on unis

sighs. im so worried about my uni studies. i have narrowed down my choices to thames valley university in uk, university of canberra in australia or auckland university of technology in new zealand.
ok, to do in canberra, it’ll be aud10,000 a year just for my study course but the degree will be advertising & marketing communication. it’ll take one and a half years to finish. the currency currently is about rm2.7=aud1.
to do in auckland university of technology, it’ll take only one year to finish but my cert will be bachelors in communication (advertising) and the course fees will be nzd17,000. the course will only be a year extra for me. the currency currently is about rm2.5=nzd 2.5.
now, the best choice will be thames valley university, uk. suprisingly, it’s much more relevant because the cert will state bachelor of advertising and media/pr/etc (hons). it’ll only take one year and the subjects that i have to study are already subjects ive studied. hope to get exemptions. and, the course fee is only



it’s me again. oh btw it’s yeeng here. haha. i think it would be better to inform everyone that it’s my entry since quite a number of u guys mistaken my previous entry as becky’s entry. hmmmm…….bad news again. I AM SICK! how can this happen? have been coughing like hell the whole day. i just hate cough so much. i dont give a damn to fever or flu but i just couldnt stand cough! it just pissed me off when i started coughing when i tried to talk. i hate it so much when i coughed in the middle of a movie (that was what happened today). hopefully i’ll be ok tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a very long day AGAIN. hehe. oh yeah WARNING: DO NOT WATCH THE VILLAGE! a waste of money and time 🙁
actually i have alot of things to share but i don’t know whether i should post it here or not. hmm….arghhh…wth lar i am going to post it no matter what. 🙂 hehe. i was talking to a close friend of mine the other day. she looked really troubled so i just casually asked her what was wrong. she told me that she was really scared and worried. she said that she’s very worried because she’s losing herself in her relationship and that it scares her so much when she realized that she will do anything for her bf. she stopped after that maybe because she thought i would not understand how she was feeling. so i told her that i understand exactly how she was feeling because i was once in her shoes before. sometimes i just wish that i can just be with someone i love and be happy all the time. okok i know. i am lying to myself 😛 well, i know that every relationship requires sacrifices but the question is how much should we sacrifice?
a very hard question indeed coz there is no definite answer but i can tell u guys what i think. hehe. and pls do share ur opinion on it ok 😛
ok.i never talk about this publicly before. but i’ve been keeping it to myself for so long. time to let it out. 🙂 hope u guys dont mind ya. what i said just now. i was once in my friend’s shoes before. that time when i was with my first ex i was willing to sacrifice anything for him. i felt scared too. i was losing myself in that relationship. at one point of time, i didnt even know what i was doing. i got upset easily when he did things he was not supposed to. we argued over small matters. our arguments were so frequent until both of us couldnt take it anymore. we were arguing like 2-3 times a week? who can take that? he will always just walk away and went home everytime we argued. it hurts so much everytime he walked away just like that. i never expected any return for all the sacrifices i made because i know he sacrificed too. after being together for almost 3 yrs, everything ended just like that. it hurts so much. but what hurts me the most was him walking away just like that and left me alone to go through all these. but i was lucky because i have alot of friends who were there for me when i needed them. i made a promise to myself that i will never sacrifice so much for a guy again coz in the end i will get hurt again.
months passed by, i never expect to get into a relationship so soon again. until i met him. no it wasn’t love at first sight ok. 🙂 things were just going superbly. i was really happy when i got to see him and talked to him on the phone everyday. nvr expect myself to fall in love again so soon but he was really special (to me of coz) haha. we got together not long after that. things at first was really nice. i didnt realize how much i was in love that time until i found myself doing things that i never done for any guy b4 (not even for my first ex). for once, i wasn’t losing myself. i know what i was doing. i was willing to sacrifice once again. just a thank you, a hug or seeing him smile was all it takes to make my sacrifice worthwhile. i wish things would just continue that way. but it did not. what about the promise i made to myself? a part of me was willing to sacrifice anything but another part of me was stopping me. the reason? i dont want to get hurt again. because of the fear of getting hurt again, i began to complain he doesnt spend time with me ( i was feeling insecure ) etc. i guess he got fed up of my constant complaints but he couldn’t do anything for me and he didnt want to hurt me anymore so he decided to end it. as if history was repeating itself, he just walked away and all i could do was seeing him leave. it really hurts alot to see someone u love walked away just like that.
will i ever sacrifice for someone so much again? i will say YES without any doubt. for me, that’s what relationships are all about. it’s about making sacrifices and compromises and discovering each other and eventually accepting each other for who he/she is. so how much i sacrifice doesnt matter at all. because sacrifices are not meant to be measured that way. if u think it’s worth sacrificing just go for it. in the end onli u know what will make u happy. it will only be meaningful if u love with all u have. a close friend of mine told me the other day that she really salutes me for being able to move on so quickly after a break up. she said she can never do it. haha. y would u want yourself to be unhappy? life still moves on whether you are heartbroken or you are in love. the reason why i can move on so quickly was because i never blamed them or mad at them for leaving me. for some people thinking about all those good times they had with their ex-gf/bf will only make things worst. but for me it was the opposite. thinking about those good times i had with him never fails to bring a smile to my face even until now. eventhough our relationship lasted only for three months but these three mths are one of the happiest periods in my life. i am not really sad right now. yes, i lost him but what matters the most to me is i was able to be together with him, even just for a short while. one thing for sure, i will never let go the one i love. i didnt let them go but it was them that let me go. all i can say is, never let go the one u love and love with all u have. life is all about taking risks. in life, if u let go certain things, they might not come back to u anymore. the most important thing is never ever have regrets in your life.
well, i am not feeling lonely at all now. hehe. u know why? because i always have the sweet memories to accompany me.hehe. he can take away everything i have but he can never take away the memories i had with him. and those memories are the things i cherished the most >.< well, who knows what will happen tomorrow? life is really too short. so for those who are in a relationship, always treasure your bf/gf. for those who are single, i wish u guys all the best! may u find your mr.right/ms.right soon! LOL! p/s: i know he will definitely read this post. i posted this up not because of anything. i just want to let it out. i've been keeping things to myself all this while. i am sorry guys. this entry is really very long. really sorry. but anyway thanks for reading 🙂 * huggiesss*



anyway just signed up for the multiply’s something like friendster but you can do more things with it….u can blog, upload lots of photos(can have ur own photo albums), post reviews on anything u like ( restaurants, movies etc ) oh yeah..u can also post recipes 🙂 hehehe…:P just want to let u guys know that i will blog there more frequent and the entries will be shorter. i will still blog here though 🙂 hehe visit me at thanks *hugggiess* take care everyone!
my life sucks…just for today. it was really bad. i knew it was going to be a long and hard day for me when i opened my eyes at 6am. i was supposed to wake up at 7am :(. it was so hard for me to sleep again after that because i kept on waking up every 10 mins. i finally gave up and woke up at 6.50am. it took my dad very long to get ready today and i was almost late for my class. when i reached the side gate of sunway coll, guess what? the gate was CLOSED! great. just what i need to start my day huh? luckily class went on smoothly and i managed to reach home safely and managed to get some rest before i went for my class in KL. when i thought things were going to get better, it got even worse! i waited for 50 mins for the putraline to come so i can go to kj station to catch the lrt to pasar seni. oh yeah did i mention that today’s weather was damn hot? 🙁 so ok..i waited for 50 mins and i thought the bus was not going to come anymore (normally it will only take the bus 20 mins to reach sunway from kj station) and if i continued waiting i will be late and i won’t be able to have my dinner anymore. so i went and took a cab. oh what a good choice. just after the cab i was in took the u-turn after pyramid, guess what i saw? yes, u got it right. i saw the putraline on the opposite lane 🙂 there goes my rm7.50. thank u so much putraline for being so punctual and so efficient.
managed to reach kasturi coll on time. after putting my stuffs in the class, kelly and i went to a shop nearby to have our dinner. it seemed that today was a really bad day for kelly also. she stared blankly at nothing most of the time. felt really bad coz i couldn’t help her. i know what’s her problem but i just don’t know what to say to make her feel better. so both of us just sat there and stoned together-gether. on our way back to the coll, we saw alot of ppl were sibuk-ing in front of the pondok polis. it seemed that the police managed to catch a criminal. but i don’t know what crime he committed. mayb he was trying to snatch someone’s bag and got caught while trying to escape. well, i was really glad it happened before we passed by that place. just before we reached the college, we saw two fellas were arguing and screaming at each other. we quickly walked away before anything BAD happen. couldn’t really pay attention to what the lecturer teached today 🙁 blur most of the time coz he was going quite fast and my mind was blank. yeah, just blank. couldnt absorb anything. out of all days my lecturer just had to choose today to let us go back late. arghhh. waited quite long for the lrt and missed the star lrt 🙁 waited again at masjid jamek. i was finally home at 11pm. was damn happy when i opened the gate and my cat, baby came to greet me. went in my room and saw the digicam was on my table. so i took a few photos of myself with it. and i thought my unlucky day has finally came to an end. i must be kidding huh? guess what happened to the digicam when i tried to upload the photos into my comp? it hanged..out of all days…it just had to choose today to hang…i really had enough liao…cant take it anymore..going to break down anytime now. but u know what, i am not going to feel sorry for myself for having such a bad day coz things might be even worse than this nx time. so i guess i will just have to learn how to handle myself in this kind of situation nx time 🙂
but then again…where is the ‘someone’ when i needed him the most? when i needed him to hug me and tell me everything will be just fine? just wish that there’s someone always there for me when i needed some comfort. i’ve been trying my very best to stay ‘normal’ after whatever happened 1 mth+ ago. sorry couldn’t elaborate more on that. sorry. i am not ready yet :(. not as easy as i thought it would be. hmm..i guess i will just have to be strong huh? well, life is not just about being with the one u love ( as in ur bf/gf ). there are still many other things that are just as important as that. hehe..just trying to make myself feel better! anyway, going karaoke tomorrow with a few high school friends. hope that i will enjoy myself. *prays hard*. oh btw, i am officially broke. been spending alot of money nowadays. thanks to the carnival mega sales 🙁 but there’s still many things that i want to buy. anyone with extra cash? pls donate some :(. i think i better sleep now…i dont want anything bad to happen anymore for today. enough is enough! :(. till the nx time we meet again…take care everyone *hugz*
p/s: sorry for posting such a sad entry AGAIN. had a really bad day ler. just need to let it out. sorry that u guys have to read this crap 🙁

beck’s 20th year

beck’s 20th year

sighs. i thought this year’s birthday would be interesting because i have that someone special but no, he has to do something that upsets me so much. i chose not to think so much about it as i dont want to spoil the beautiful image i have on my birthday. the celebration started on fri as my parents rented an apartment at duta vista from fri to sun. we then had steamboat on fri itself. below are some of the pix. more with the other digi cams…

some of the steamboat dishes. i miscalculated and bought food that could feed another 100 more people

the guests porking out

terence enjoying himself *yums*

the guests watching m’sian idol as they chomp

eve mama , becky and lizzie baby *cuddles*

eve, ivy, becky and lizzie

ivy, eve, lizzie, becky and jolyne g.mama

becky, see mun, yeeng, weng onn, ken jun and hock beng

god knows what me and dylan was thinking when we pose for this pix

jolyne, terence and becky

joe 7th and becky

my bday cake, coffee cheesecake

becky cutting the cake

ian enjoying every single lick X”D

the group I

the group II (wow, nice shirt raymond. check out the flash)

illegal gambling session

the harmless group playing pictionary

raymond mixing the miniature liquors

becky and yeeng (gf tuhan)

pillow talk!

us cramped up in a super small lift which refuses to close

some of my gifts =”P

i hope everyone had fun that night. i make a bad host. but im glad most of you ate till you guys almost puked. and guess what? i still have half a fridge of food. lol. and i know some of you were really hurt when you found out i didnt call you over. im sorry but i was on limited budget and i had to make it a small group. trust me, if i had the choice, i would’ve invited everyone. i’ll buy you guys drinks when i meet up with you guys k (you know yourselves). sorry.
there’s so much to say on what happened on fri and how it went but im too lazy and i guess im not in the right mood now. anyhow, a few stayed back and the next day, i almost got into two accidents, swerved from left lane to right lane (3 lanes away) because i was at the wrong lane. then when i picked my mom up and sent her to work, the same shit happened again but a diff place. hur. im a natural born stuntwoman.
after all those dramatic stunts, reached duta vista again and we started experimenting with our cooking. hey, we make not bad a chef. haha. and somehow, we were addicted to cooking. *nyums* *rubs tummy* i have the pix but i dont think i wanna post it up. there’s too many pix for me to post em up. maybe in a later entry. that night itself, joe 7th and i wanted to watch beautiful boxer but dumbass people had to make the cinema queue so long. why cant they just all go to the genting rave and give unhappening people like me a chance to catch some movie peacefully man. we headed to chilis after that for dinner. went back to duta vista with joe enjoying the comfy beds of duta vista. told ya it’s irresistable!
yest, joe 7th brought me to a jap buffet at kampachi, equatorial hotel (im too lazy to find the links). it was okay i guess. went to the pc fair at pwtc after that and spent the whole afternoon till evening there. got myself a new toy, twinhead efio!121!. i had a tough time deciding because i narrowed my choices down to either taking ibm or twinhead but i chose twinhead in the end. i kinda regret it but oh well, ive already bought it. bought my 256mb thumbdrive and a logitech webcam too. oooo.. i love pc fairs! the jam all over town was crazy. the ones at my place was the worst because of the dumbass karnival sure heboh. dont they all have better things to do than to jam up my place? you know the four lane kesas highway was turned to two lanes because dumbasses who went there parked two of the lanes. how the hell can you park on highways?! baka! dont these… er nvm, i shall not say anything because i can get really racist. *smiles*

my new toy, twinhead efio!121!

anyhow, im going off to bed now. HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF. may i find the right one for me and may my life be filled with happiness. har…who am i kidding. *slaps herself in the face* how i wish i still get up and stop assuming im living in a fairy tale where PROMISES are meant to be kept and fulfilled and not broken. nites peeps. remember the lesson of the day on promises.
p/s: i pray and i hope that today will be my last day at work. im sick of playing yahoo games everyday. that would be the best pressie ever. oh, the moment the clock striked 12 today, i knocked my head on the wall so hard that now, it’s swollen. second time… so much for a happy birthday.
p/s (again!): promise kept. *muacks* joe ooi tuan yiang. *hugs* *smiles*